broga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga

first time and not gonna be my last. broga, ill be back!

paris, first class, international

when people failed to do something ill always be there and tell em stuff that supposedly make them feels better e.g "if its meant to be, its meant to be..." or "keep your chin up, you still have a long way to go...", without realizing that it actually made it way worsen than before. ive came to a point where, whenever ive decided to attend any airlines interview, i would not tell or invite the whole world to come with me as (i think) it will jinx the whole thing. so a few weeks back i went for QR interview. at first, it was more like "why dont i just try, its not like im gonna get it, if its meant to be, its meant to be...", but as i waited for em to call me up after the resume submission thingy, i became agitated and everytime my phone rang it gave me a mini heart attack, every rang made me dash to my phone and of course, every rang is filled with disappointments. at first i didnt let it get to me, but when people start saying "bukan rezeki kot...", "you can try again next time...", "nobody get it at their first try..." and "maybe QR isnt for you, try SQ or EK..." made me feels like im gonna be here for the rest of my life. i am never gonna get out from this hell hole. im never gonna experience "paris, first class, international...". im never gonna experience life beyond where i am right now. suddenly in every spare moment i have, i tend to think about what i actually did wrong for that interview. it made me think that for some reason i dont belong in airline industry. probably im not tall enuf, not enuf for any of em... probably. being a flight attendant was never really my dream technically, there was never a point in my life where i woke up and decide that i want this, i want to fly! i want to be everywhere. no it has never been on my list. when i first got this job, i wasnt sure, i thought i gave it a few months and see where it takes me. and being a human, greed always takes people places, I WANT MORE! i freaking want more! so then it all started, the whole QR, EK, SQ, CX dreams! the "paris, first class, international..." dream. what im trying to say is, what started so simple became so complicated. tho ive never dream being where i am right now, but hell yeah i want more right now.

a good friend of mine once asked me...

"there's a big difference between "wants" and "needs". for example what u need is a house to live in but what you want is a mansion to live in. and right now what u need is a job, which you already have but is all this EK, QR and what not is really what you want?"

and i answered "hell yeah i want it. the pay is freaking good man. i could payoff my ptptn in few months probably"

"therefore its money that you want, not the job itself? if its money that you want, there's millions ways more you can get it, its just that you are too afraid of going outside of your comfort zone or trying something new"

come to think about it yeah he do got a point there, but could i possibly waste my time on something that i wasnt sure to worked out or not. plus honestly, right now, i couldnt imagine myself doing anything else than this. plus ive been in this service industry for like 6 years... how can i just leave something ive build that long for something uncertain. not gonna waste my 6 years for something else. maybe im just afraid or maybe i just dont like to gamble my life away. i just really dunno. i probably dont show it, but im rather disapointed with what ive become today. fat, useless and stucked. like how i would always says in this situation, keep your chin up, you still have a long way to go... on a lighter side, i got KL towerthon, PJ dawn race, Standard Chartered KL marathon and ofcourse the Penang bridge marathon coming up. woot woot! cant wait.

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official results are out!

pretty disappointed with the official result. tot i was the under 200 finisher. owh well gotta practice harder! next is the pj dawn marathon! woot woot!

brooks bukit jalil marathon 2012

question
mr A signed up for a 10km run. mr A trained, trained, trained and trained. when D day comes, mr A has an expectation on how he would perform on D day. but amazingly he performed waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay better than he expected. how/what is your expression/reaction if this were happened to you?

answer
me? owh i bragged to everybody (friends la of course) i met during the race day! hahah they might not realize it but i was smiling wide yesterday. so i trained on almost every off days, it finally paid off man. i expected to do 10km in an hour and 15 minutes or somewhere around there. but did waaaaay better. *whoot* *whoot*

(ran for brooks marathons in bukit jalil the total distance suppose to be 10km but i recorded 11.something instead, weird)



i actually did 1:05 for my 10km run. wohoo... ten minutes lesser then i expected. and yeah im all ready for standard chartered 10km run (since the qualifying time is 1:15). and of course i got this as a courtesy i finished the whole 10km.



i was suppose to ran with wahida on that race but she came late and so happen i met siew ling on the starting line, so ran all the way with her. kudos to her, she actually did 1:18 for the whole 11.something km. and also met hanin and her colleague, she finished slightly later then siew ling. didnt have the chance to bump into wahida, i left quite early since i got that emirates interview (resume submittion jek in the end, boo yah emirates), so left the venue around 8:30.



hanin



overall, couldnt be any more happier than this. i've broke my 5km-ginity, 10km-ginity and next is the 21km-ginity. couldnt wait for my next marathon. and of course i would eventually do the full and sacred 42km! *whoot* *whoot* my next marathon should be the standard chartered 10km (speed category). suppose to register for the energizer night marathon 2012 but i guess they hit 5,000 participant much earlier then i expected. owh well there's is still the Adidas King Of The Road 2012, Nike We Run KL 2012 and finally Penang Bridge Marathon 2012. hopefully malakoff will be doing that bukit kiara thinggy again this year. :) im happy! H A P P Y! happy!

... dang!

back then when i first started my current job, most of my friends are either doing their degree or just started working, and as expected most of em are a bit jealous with my paycheck and the lifestyle(not knowing the reality of course). but 3 years down the road, i am still where they last saw me. still same old routine, same job, same position, nothing change, changed or changing. but on the other hand, my friends who are doing their degree are half way down the road and already in UK doing their "plus 2", and most probably gonna start their career over there. and of course my paycheck and my job would be nothing anymore, and the other half who started worked in diff industry has climb up into the management level and of course thing are getting A-OK for them, no more dirty work, no more hard labor, its all about the paperwork and the nagging. no this is not a competition of course, just that after 3 years down the road, everybody is changing, moving up, sorta like level-ing up, acquiring new skills, subordinates and such. and by looking at how things are, dont think im gonna gain any new level any time soon. funny thing about life is "when you think you got thing figured out, you actually have noooooooooo freaking idea about it". thats how i put it, yeah the moment i thought "ouh im here, im safe, think this is it, im good here" that is when life come crashing down on you, life come with that super big ass broadsword and swing over your achievement and send you back where you first started.

space-meng

"Frozen as snow I show no emotion whatsoever so
Don't ask me why I have no love for these motherfucking hoes
Bloodsucking succubuses, what the fuck is up with this?
I've tried in this department but I ain't had no luck with this
It sucks but it's exactly what I thought it would be
Like trying to start over
I got a hole in my heart, for some kind of emotional rollercoaster
Something I won't go on 'til you toy with my emotion, so it's over
It's like an explosion every time I hold you, I wasn't joking when I told you
You take my breath away
You're a supernova... and I'm a..."

born to die